I don’t know about YOU, but I’m sick and tired of the all of these picture-perfect girls on Instagram, with their perfectfitness routines, their perfectlyunmussed ponytails ,their perfectly white teeth, and their perfectly photographedgreen kale smoothies, all with captions telling me how #Blessed they are.
Now, as we approach theNew Year,these same girls are polluting my news feed with a laundry list of unsolicited advice, lecturing me on how I, too, can attain their unattainable bodies and lives. STOP telling me what to eat for f*cking breakfast. Let me eat my bagel in peace.
If theywant to live on a raw diet and wear Lululemon leggings and post their aspirational photos every single day highlighting howperfect they are, that’s totally fine.ButI’m far less interested in juice cleansing and filtering away the sadnessthan I am inexamining where this sadness came from in the first place.
I suffer from depression every day of my life. And I know some of you struggle, too. And you know why we struggle? Because we’rewildly creative, out-of-the-box, complicated, gorgeously imperfect girl creatures.
We’re teeming with emotion, creativity and endless energy. We think deeply about things. We’ve been through sh*t, and we’re going through sh*t. And we are far more dynamic and multifaceted than Ms. Instagram.
So I’ve come up with a list of super-real, unapologetic personal resolutions to make me a stronger version of myself in 2016.Let’s make2016 the year the real girl rises.
1. I want to learn to meditate, not self-medicate.
I had my first anxiety attack after a night of doing cocaine with some creepy older boys when I was 16years old. Now I’m 29 and clean, but anxiety and depressioncontinue to be a perpetual battle for me.
While I don’t binge drink as destructively I did in my early 20s, I still rely more than I wish I did on that trusty glass of Sauvignon blanc to quell my social anxiety or to ease a hectic day.
But stuffing the feelings down isn’t serving me anymore.I don’t want to be that girl who needs to rely on chemicals because she can’t handle the weight of her feelings.I want to find healthier ways to deal with the sadness.
I’m sick of being the girl who scoffs at yoga and meditation, especially when I know the realreason I do it is because I know it might actuallywork, andI’m sort of afraid to get better.
But I need to find new methods that will help me calm down naturally in 2016.