Weve been through this a million times over, and promised that there wont be a next time, that youll find the strength to walk away from any poisonous relationships, but, here we are again;
you are falling for the wrong guy. I know you dont want to believe it. I know its hard. You want to believe that hes different from the others. But hes not.Hes the wrong guy, and hes going to break your heart if you let him. You need to love yourself and walk away before he does, or youll end up feeling empty. Again.Ive just had my heart stomped on, I saw it coming, and I did nothing about it. I hate this empty, broken feeling, and I hate knowing that I should have walked away. I just couldnt find the strength to do it. But I believe that someday, I want to do everything in my power to prevent you from feeling this way again, so hear me out.I know why you fell for him in the first place. He appeared to be everything you wanted and more. He didnt seem like a player or fuckboy” to begin with. But they never do, and thats why you fall into this trap over and over again. The romance was there. He took you on really thoughtful dates. He held your hand. He said things both via text and in person that left you with a stupid smile on your face. He wanted to know you. He seemed so genuine. He asked the right questions, valued your intelligence, complimented your personality, and made you feel beautiful. You didnt know that someone could make you feel like that. But all of that changed.He built you up just to knock you down. When the bad times begin to outnumber the good, its time you reevaluate your relationship.When deciding if youre going to keep up with this relationship, I want to tell you that if you even have to question it, theres probably something majorly wrong. Must I remind you what its like to be heartbroken? Have you forgotten the dark feeling that consumes you when you are being played?You feel an immense anxiety. Youre uncertain if hes ignoring you because hes busy, or maybe he just doesnt care. You dont want to ask over and over again because that will reflect poorly on you, so you force yourself to suppress this anxiety and fake a smile, even though its tearing you apart on the inside. You question if hes met someone else.The feeling of insecurity that he has created in you is eating you alive. Technically, youre not dating, so hetechnicallycould see other people, but he wouldnt, right? Wrong. He would. And the were not technically dating excuse is bullshit. Youre seeing each other and have been for an extended period of time. Youve told each other the way you feel about each other, and that youre falling. Regardless of whether or not youre in an official relationship, seeing other people is not okay.
Dont justify his bad behavior with technicalities like that.
You must stop making excuses for him. Yes, youve had your bad days, too, and have occasionally taken it out on him. Its natural to project your anger and frustrations on people youre close to. But this cannot become a habit and sure as hell cant become a normal part of your relationship. He may have issues that hes dealing with, whether its stress from work, a death in the family, a fight with a friend, or even something like depression, but none of those things are excuses to treat you like shit.The right guy will look at you as a means of support, not as an emotional punching bag.
You make these excuses for him because you cling too tightly to the person you originally fell for; the charming, sweet, loving guy that swept you off your feet. Now, its time to come back down to Earth and realize that this man does not exist anymore. Yes, there were so many good memories. He did the sweetest things for you and made you feel special. You told him how you truly feel about him, and now hes using that against you. As soon as he realized he had you, he abandoned that loving persona and became lazy. He knows you care deeply for him and that itll take a lot for you to leave him.
There is nothing wrong with being honest about your feelings. Your honesty and genuine heart are some of the things that make you so special.
But you can’t allow these qualities to cloud your judgment. Dont allow yourself to be taken advantage of. Dont cling solely to the good memories that you shared. Dont reread the old texts that made you blush. Remember the way he is making you feel now, and ask yourself if this is how you want to feel forever. Have you forgotten that you dont need a guy to make you happy, and that youre okay being alone? I know youd rather be alone than be with someone who makes you feel so empty, anxious, and pathetic. The guy you fell for is gone. This is him now.
Its okay to make mistakes in love, thats how we learn after all, but you need to trust your instincts and trust my advice.
You continuously stick your hand in the same fire and wonder why you keep getting burned. Looking back at your past failed relationships, you can see warning signs that you simply ignored because you hoped things would be different. Ignoring these signs has led to a massive amount of heartache and disappointment for you. I dont ask you to abandon your optimism, but you do need to use your logic, especially when it means protecting your heart.
Im going to remind you of your value. You are freaking You are smart, passionate, kind, ambitious, and beautiful. So many people in your life love and admire you. The things that this wrong guy told you to sweep you off your feet were truehe wasnt making them up. He wasnt lying to you about how special you are. He wasn’t just telling you what you wanted to hear. Buthe did lose sight of how amazing you are, and how lucky he is to be with you, and hell kick himself for that someday.
Dont allow his behavior and lack of appreciation for you to damage your self-esteem, and don’t blame yourself for his stupidity. You deserve much better than someone who constantly leaves you hanging, is unwilling to commit, takes advantage of you, makes you question your worth, and abandons efforts to make you happy. You need to stop settling for less and hold out until you find someone who truly appreciates you, values you, and knows a good thing when he has it.
You are strong enough to walk away from this toxic relationship before it’s too late. You must love yourself and respect yourself enough to know that you deserve nothing but the best. Dont question if he could be “the one”. If it turns out that Im wrong, and he is the right guy, he will make it work. He will realize he has been behaving badly, and find a way to make amends and he change his ways to be with you. He will make it right, and if he doesnt, then hes not the guy for you.
Now, go be the smart girl that I know you are, and leave him. It’ll feel so much better to end things on your own terms for once. Do the things that make you happy, be young, and dont worry about finding love. Itll come when you least expect it.